Crowd

Photo by Spencer Tunick

We wake up at similar hours
We make love in similar ways
Similary we cry and smile
And we love the specialities of our similar lives.

Var-Ol

Picasso Behind a Window, 1952, Robert Doisneau

Bazen okuyup öğrendiğim her şeyi bir kenara bırakıp sadece bulunduğum mekanın şartlarını duyumsamaya ve orada basitçe varolmaya gayret ediyorum.

Bir oda, bir yol, bir lokanta, bir sahil... Mekandaki diğerleri ve ben.

Bu gibi zamanlarda giydirilmiş kılıflardan arınma fırsatı yakalıyorum ve sadece bir insan olarak karşımdakiyle muhatap oluyorum.

Boyum, bakışlarım, sesim, temasım, sözlerim, gücüm, hızım...
Kurumlar, öğretiler ve otoritelerce onanmamış olan her şeyim...
Elimde ne varsa kullanıyorum.
İnsanca ve gerçek.

Mekandaki diğer kişiler ile etkileşimin ötesinde, bir başıma olduğum durumlarda da benzeri samimi deneyimler yaşayabiliyorum: Salonda yatmak, dereyi aşmak, kayalara dokunmak, yolumu bulabilmek, şehrin derinliklerine dalmak gibi yalnızca doğal özelliklerimi kullanarak varlığımın sınırlarını algılıyorum. Bazen sadece düşünüyorum :)

Böyle yapınca şehrin curcunasından kaçış, işe ara verme, tatil yapma gibi gereksinimlerim kalmıyor.

Her yer dinginleşiyor.

Lustful Love

Khajuraho Lakshmana Temple

I was thinking about passionate erotic love today. 

Two persons desiring each other badly.

And then, games, touches, wet lips, smells, brutality sometimes... Joie de vivre!

We all know those familiar scenarios but how can this be possible between two individuals?

What factors are playing the descriptive roles shaping all the attitudes? 

Common path is that usually, you meet someone and you spend some time with this person, then sexual attraction rises. Finally, sexual intercourse starts. Most likely, this period takes place at the beginning of the relationships. In time, the level of sexual desire between persons decreases...

I think, this lustful interaction between people is possible if you "reify" the person whom you are in a relationship with. You need to perceive the one in front of you as he/she is a "thing" that you really need to occupy. The elements supporting this "desirable object" might be eyes, fingers, breasts, muscles, hair, legs, ankles, toes, moves, voice, nipples, smell, hips etc. all possible proven attributes that sex industry has already packed and served. After adjusting the materialization process, you become able to use the person on purpose: You can touch, grab, taste, eat, penetrate, tie, lock up... anything you'd like. And, of course, most of the times, this is a mutual way of doing things.

I know that I may sound like a director of a BDSM movie but according to my "so called" hypothesis, it is very difficult to keep the lustful love alive in a relationship if you approach your partner as a fragile human being who actually has multi-dimensional qualities, thoughts, pains, weaknesses, deep feelings, traumas etc. Because, all those make the relationship complex, heavier, deeper and too much "humane". On the other hand, in sexuality, things must be done in a light hearted and naughty manner. Actions must be bolder than thoughts are. Thinking too much distracts you, simply kills the fire. This must be a joyful game, a sort of exciting exploration. Therefore, people need to create contexts where they can reify their partners. In other words, set the scene properly for firing things up. Be a mad lover, not a tender mother/father.

In our lives, we are playing our roles in the pre-defined contexts. You may name it office, school, street, family, army, city so on and on... Then you come back home, to your partner, and consider this gathering "real", not a role any more. This is your private life, so intimate... Actually, our "private" lives are not exceptions to the pre-defined context we're already in. If you attracted by this illlusion and try to get real too much, boredom and  pain are the inevitable moods you are to meet. This is not a curse, this is not "you" but this is existential crisis.  For lustful pleasure, we'd better move away from the "reality".

Keep the joy alive :\

  

Untold

Click on the image to enlarge.

I was thinking about the fundemantals of human-to-human communication for a while. I was trying to understand the system and the dynamics of the data traffic between two individuals looking at each other and trying to understand each other. Using words, symbols, mimics, postures and silence to transmit your messages to the one in front of you. Is it really possible? In practice, it seems possible because we can communicate with the ones around us somehow, in our daily lives.

What I am going to put forth is not a "so authentic" approach indeed, but my point of action is that sometimes we miss the meaning of the untold area in our communication.The way I portray the situation is given in the above picture. Once our brains started to work (prenatal period), we begin structuring our mental realm in an increasing fashion, through the time we spent from the scratch, until now. In the very moment of now, we have a cognitive potential carried and developed from our past. However, for the most of the human beings, it is not likely to be aware of their cognitive potential fully because we, humans, forget, misinterpret, misremember etc. :) So you see above that the area of the awareness is a subset of the cognitive potential which includes the mental reflections of our past and the time being. As we do not tell everything we are aware of, the amount of the things we talk about must be a subset of the things we are aware of.

On the other hand, we have the realm of the untold, where the most of our mental existence resides. Besides, from the time slice we are living in, we sometimes design future and talk about our projections. And in the most of the cases, our envision is not sharp. To be honest, we usually say things far from the reality to come in future. In other words, we are future-blinds. To sum up, the area of the told consists of three different groups:

1. The words about the past: We can't remember properly, we can't retrieve information rationally.
2. The words on the time being: We are not fully aware of our very current state.
3. The words on the future: We have no idea about the "real" future so we bullshit a lot :)

As you can see, told is not so important. It does not respresent who you really are. Moreover, told is usually designed, it's like acting, it's the way we tell our stories to each other. We connect distinct and discrete things, persons, happenings, sayings etc. and make up subjective stories to tell, to believe, so on. We usually talk in order to justify the things we have done, to translate our past actions into explanations which are terribly subjective and far from the truth.

Please think about the burden we are carrying from our pasts; all the sorrows, surprizes, excitements, happiness, all the action, accidents, experiences. All those have reflections in our minds and, at the same time, this process (litearally our lives) shape us physically: the way we stand, we look, we cry, we touch etc. Therefore, the untold dominates our existence and we have to learn communicating through the untold. The secret is there. Fortune tellers and "so called" psychics have got this talent of cold reading and if they can do this well, mixed with hot reading, they can easily convince people that they've got super-natural powers.  

I know that I am too assertive by stating that the powerful key of the communication is hosted in the untold area. Especially, being aware of my conclusion is contradicting with Martin Heidegger's prompts a big question mark in my mind. Heidegger was saying that:

"Language is the house of being, which is propriated by being and pervaded by being."

Actually, in a way, we are talking about different things. Language, literally, might be the house of being as a tool but the sum of the told words for a being cannot be considered as a language, I think.

To make the story short, I am saying that just try to read the things other than you're told. The silent being hides a lot to dig. You may come up with a fortune or a rotten soul after you dig it.

Stop.

Moods

Photo by Euphrates.

Standing still on the ground and defending your site in a legendary way. 

Negating the current status and taking actions to set up a novel state boldly.

Speaking less, acting more. 

Being a man as you are supposed to be.

Left no one behind, move forward together,

Die together unless you succeed in surviving together.

Strength, glory, honor!

Are these statements above describing an acceptable perception of life? Can all these big narratives, the powerful expressions that used to motivate nations for thousands of years make any sense to an individual who has got just minor and personal problems with life? 

I have got my own tragedies which possibly mean nothing to you. 

My tears are dropping down just in front of my feet. Not yours. 

It is not realistic to expect you to "understand" me. 

On the other hand, I need to be understood by you.
I cannot exist without your thoughts on me.
So, talk to me. Listen to me.
Look at me.
Say things about me.
Respond to me.
And do all these things without bothering me :)

I need your hands in my hands as the beautiful trees in the photograph holding hands in sorrow.

Sorrow which is inevitable.