Khajuraho Lakshmana Temple
I was thinking about passionate erotic love today.
Two persons desiring each other badly.
And then, games, touches, wet lips, smells, brutality sometimes... Joie de vivre!
We all know those familiar scenarios but how can this be possible between two individuals?
What factors are playing the descriptive roles shaping all the attitudes?
Common path is that usually, you meet someone and you spend some time with this person, then sexual attraction rises. Finally, sexual intercourse starts. Most likely, this period takes place at the beginning of the relationships. In time, the level of sexual desire between persons decreases...
I think, this lustful interaction between people is possible if you "reify" the person whom you are in a relationship with. You need to perceive the one in front of you as he/she is a "thing" that you really need to occupy. The elements supporting this "desirable object" might be eyes, fingers, breasts, muscles, hair, legs, ankles, toes, moves, voice, nipples, smell, hips etc. all possible proven attributes that sex industry has already packed and served. After adjusting the materialization process, you become able to use the person on purpose: You can touch, grab, taste, eat, penetrate, tie, lock up... anything you'd like. And, of course, most of the times, this is a mutual way of doing things.
I know that I may sound like a director of a BDSM movie but according to my "so called" hypothesis, it is very difficult to keep the lustful love alive in a relationship if you approach your partner as a fragile human being who actually has multi-dimensional qualities, thoughts, pains, weaknesses, deep feelings, traumas etc. Because, all those make the relationship complex, heavier, deeper and too much "humane". On the other hand, in sexuality, things must be done in a light hearted and naughty manner. Actions must be bolder than thoughts are. Thinking too much distracts you, simply kills the fire. This must be a joyful game, a sort of exciting exploration. Therefore, people need to create contexts where they can reify their partners. In other words, set the scene properly for firing things up. Be a mad lover, not a tender mother/father.
In our lives, we are playing our roles in the pre-defined contexts. You may name it office, school, street, family, army, city so on and on... Then you come back home, to your partner, and consider this gathering "real", not a role any more. This is your private life, so intimate... Actually, our "private" lives are not exceptions to the pre-defined context we're already in. If you attracted by this illlusion and try to get real too much, boredom and pain are the inevitable moods you are to meet. This is not a curse, this is not "you" but this is existential crisis. For lustful pleasure, we'd better move away from the "reality".
Keep the joy alive :\