The Departed

The Departed is one of my favourite movies and Captain Ellerby's words about marriage below are really great.
God bless wedding ring ;)

Ellerby: How is your wedding coming along?

Colin Sullivan: Great, great; she's a doctor.

Ellerby: That's outstanding.

Colin Sullivan: Yeah.

Ellerby: Marriage is an important part of getting ahead: lets people know you're not a homo; married guy seems more stable; people see the ring, they think at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch; ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work.


Colin Sullivan: [laughing] Yeah, it's working... Overtime!

Ellerby: I'm glad to hear that.

Colin Sullivan: Yeah... Thank you.

The Gift

December 9 is my birthday.
To be honest, I have never been a fan of birthday celebrations or any other "special day" ceremonies.
I never expect my entourage to plan any events for my birthday and most of them knows my nonchalant thoughts on this topic. I've got several reasons for thinking that way, but I am not going to dig it now.
I just have to admit that this year I received one of the most impressive birthday gifts ever. My friends presented me 2 tickets for the Viktor Lazlo concert on December 21st, 2010. I know that it is the rising tendency among people to give distinguishing experiences as the gifts and mine was a very good example of this.
I have just come home from the concert. It was two hours of total refreshment, peace and tranquility for me and my wife: Viktor Lazlo (Sonia Dronier) was looking gorgeous (you can never believe she is 50), singing excellent as usual; music was perfect; audience was elegant; the concert hall was great.
I am feeling good :)
So thank you, guys, for giving me such a graceful gift. Life is so much better with you.


Provided from

In a lazy Sunday afternoon, I was just reading a poem, that made me feel the tranquility all the way, by Charles Bukowski and I wanted to share it below:
avoiding humanity
much of my life has been dedicated
to just that.
and still is.
even today at the track,
I was sitting alone between races,
in a dumb dream-state
but dumb or not,
it was mine.
then I heard a voice.
some fellow had seated himself
right behind me.
"I've come where it's nice and
quiet," he said.
I got up, walked about 150 yards
away and sat down
I felt no guilt, only the return of a
more pleasant state of
for decades i have been
bothered by door-knockers,
phone-ringers, letter-writers; and
strangers in airports and bars,
boxing matches, cafes, concerts,
libraries, supermarkets, jails,
hospitals, hotels, motels,
pharmacies, post offices,
I am not a lonely person.
I don't want to be embraced, cajoled,
told jokes to, I don't want to share
opinions or talk about the
weather and/or etc. and
I have never met a lively, original
interesting soul by accident and
I don't expect to.
all I have ever met are a herd of
dullards who have wanted to project
their petty frustrations upon me.
for some time women fooled
I would see a body, a face, a
seeming aura of peace and
gentleness, a cool refreshing lake
to splash in,
but once they spoke
there was a voice like
chalk scratching a blackboard,
and what came forth as
was a hideous and crippled
I lived with dozens of these.
the phone is ringing now.
but I have a message
they are leaving
this one wants to see
it wants to invite
itself over.
a reason is given,
some pretense.
it is hardly a worthy
the last words are,
"Please let me know."
why do they want to see
I don't want to see
can't they sense
am I the only one in the
world who finds being
alone to be a blessing, a
must I always be kind to
those who would wallow
in my hours?
am i an ugly soul?
a misogynist?
a crackpot?
a bastard?
a murderer of hope?
do I torture animals?
am I without love?
do I reek of bitterness?
am I unfair?
am I the wrecking ball of dreams?
am I the devil's encore?
do I put glass in the sandbox?
am I without morals or mercy?
if so, why do they want to keep
seeing me?
I would never want to see
anybody like that.
when I am
       Charles Bukowski, Betting on The Muse, 1996, pg. 240


- Who is she?
- Türkan SAYLAN. She was a physician, a professor, an activist supporting modern & secular life style and working on public health and educational issues very very hard.
- How old is she?
- She was 74 when the photo above was taken. She was born on December 13th, 1935.
- Where is she now?
- She is dead.
- When did she die?
- May 18th, 2009. A year ago.
- What's the cause of her death?
- Cancer was the apparent one ofcourse.
- Any hidden reasons?
- I think "yes". Lack of conscience might be one of supportive reasons. Why do you think she is indicating the "Time Out" in the picture?
- How can I learn more about her?
- You can read the book "Türkan", which is her biography, by Ayşe Kulin.

Türkan by Ayşe Kulin


Ronnie James Dio passed away on May 16th, 2010.
Just six months after he was diagnosed with stomach cancer.
Dio is Dio. Nothing more to say.
Let's read, listen and bless him:

Heaven and Hell
Sing me a song, you're a singer
Do me a wrong, you're a bringer of evil
The devil is never a maker
The less that you give, you're a taker
So it's on and on and on, it's heaven and hell
Oh well

The lover of life's not a sinner
The ending is just a beginner
The closer you get to the meaning
The sooner you'll know that you're dreaming
So it's on and on and on, oh it's on and on and on
It goes on and on and on, Heaven and Hell
I can tell...

The Family

I am thinking about being a family...

After a jazz concert performed in a grand shopping mall, my wife and daughter went to the cinema to see Tim Burton's last movie, Alice in Wonderland. Then I stepped into an Italian restaurant located in the mall and ordered a pizza margherita and a glass of red wine.

I was alone... Having a book on my table as usual... I was reading a couple of lines then watching the other tables. I like watching people... There were a group of three women living their 40s and a young couple in the restaurant. The book I was reading was about irrationality. I was reading, learning, thinking, listening to others in the restaurant...

After a while, a family of 5 persons came and seated beside my table. A son, 2 daughters, mom and dad...
They were speaking Spanish... At first sight, I loved the scene. The kids were energetic, full of life; father was calm and lofty, mother was cute after giving birth three times. The family was looking awesome indeed.

I really tried to understand this feeling: Having more than 1 child as a man. How can this feel? Creating new individuals and taking care of them. Being a "senior" father and a husband. I tried to empathize...
You are a man, loving a woman, having 3 kids, having a good job and a family car. Is it the real meaning of being a man? Can a man be considered man enough without having a wife or kids?

Being a large family... My external opinion about the large families is that the variety of fresh existences of a young man and a woman becomes the existences of 3 kids who are full of energy. Man gets weaker, woman gets bushed, life goes on... A family with multiple children is like a pot where you melt down your vital energy and then, you pour it into the spirits of your kids. Is this the real meaning of being a man? A strong guy who can hadle toughest issues, who is a warrior, who gives lives and who takes lives when necessary, who can compromise, whose heart is full of love. A man who takes the woman away, who can set up a world and make it last...

Wow! What a man? Are you that sort of a man?

There exist lots of ancient, modern and holy books about being a woman. Their dilemmas, problems, solutions, organizations, clothes, shoes, needs etc. However, I cannot remember well known works of art which examine the man as an object and a subject. Because the man is considered as the default form of human beings. Men are thorough and simple. Nothing more to say about men. Men are men! Gods are men! And men are gods! Plus, being a man is usually defined by using clichés: You can be a family guy, who can sacrifice, or you can be a free spirit, an excursionist who merely amuses himself. Are there any intermediate forms between those 2 stereotypes? Are there passages between them? What if you use those passages to see the other side if they exist?

Nature may show us the right answers. Lions, apes, wolves, birds, whales... How do they found and perpetuate families?  

I know that I have just asked questions in this post. I have got no answers, but the questions.

Oh Life...

I wanna flow like water...

Great life!

P.S. After a couple of days I had written this article, I started to read the book Why Is Sex Fun?: The Evolution Of Human Sexuality by Jared Diamond and I think this book has got the answers to my questions.